Just one of those days...

Do you ever have those days where nothing seems to be going right? You sleep in; running late means you don’t have time to do your hair, the messy look is in right? You thankfully made your lunch the night before, so you just need to grab it and put it in your bag, but you want to save money so you make coffee and a bagel at home to take with you on your commute. Multitasking to get yourself out the door later then you wanted but not too late, only to realize you need to unfreeze your car by letting it idle for a bit in -23 degree celsius weather, pray it starts and thankfully it does (it better! you just paid $511 to get it fixed), now you have to scrape your windows enough to see, your hands freeze as you left your mittens in your house and don’t feel like going back in, so you suffer. You get your car thawed and ready to go, get in and it’s icy in your parking lot and almost skid onto the road (thank you Lord nothing was coming). You remember the bagel you made and put in a sandwich bag and shoved in your pocket to free a hand to lock the front door and take it out and all the cream cheese has swished out covering the inside of the bag. Trying to drive, eating messy bagel, going faster then you should on the slippery in town roads, and the light turns yellow ahead of you. You want to stop but remember the skid earlier and decide to go for it praying you can make it before it turns red. You do make it while you are saying some choice words as you slide across that intersection just as it changes from yellow to red and realize that Angels totally made that happen in your favour. The school you are going to is a bit confusing to get to and you haven’t gone there in awhile and as you are driving you are wondering if you are taking the right roads and are anxious the whole time until you get to a familiar land mark. Once you start to settle into your commute, you remember your coffee and go to take a sip but your mouth decides to leek and a mouth-full of coffee lands on your front, usually you take off your coat to drive but today you didn’t and thank Jesus it only got on your coat and not your shirt. You get to the school with time to spare and can actually take a moment to breath and collect yourself before you have to go in, finish your coffee and take a moment to reflect. You open up your bible app and there in todays verse of the day is just what you need to hear. 

“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans” (Proverbs 16:3 NIV). 

We all have days like I have been having so far, but we don’t have to let a bad morning or start set the tone for the rest of the day. Committing to honour God with your work day, play day, or lazy day is going to change your mood dramatically from annoyed and frustrated to thankful and blessed. I took a moment and reflected on my morning. My hair dried into nice waves, I got to eat even tho I got my hand a little messy, my shirt was clean from the coffee spill so I didn’t have to have a big stain on it at work all day, I didn’t run the red light or skid in front of traffic, I made it to work early with time to spare even though I thought I was running late, and I got to take some time to refocus and set the tone for the rest of my day. We don’t always get a chance to start the day off with bible reading or prayer, but I am finding that in a moment of chaos seeking God is actually more beneficial then doing it in the calm of twilight. It totally shifts your mind off of your troubles and refocuses you to the task at hand to honour God with WHATEVER you do, and then knowing without a doubt he will then guide your path and lead the way. I believe God will bless my day and give me favour with my students, my lessons and technology today because I remembered what was most important, and even if it doesn’t go my way I know that there is purpose in the trails; there will be a chance to praise God in ALL things, good and bad, and a chance to exercise grace and mercy towards others. You never know how much your smile, your kind word, your faith is going to impact another life and walk. You never know what your bad mood, or unwillingness is going to hinder God from doing in your day. You need to check yourself before your wreck yourself (belch, I hate that saying..it is so cliché, but so true). Commit yourself daily, hourly, minute by minute to take each moment and honour God and see what doors he opens, that is all he asks us to do. 

Neglect...

oh Blog...how I have neglected you.

I haven't written in over a year. I haven't even looked at this blog in over a year, and like anything you neglect over time it gets forgotten, rundown, dusty, hollow, out of date and irrelevant...

I use to write what God was teaching me, knowledge and biblical revaluation and only that type of thing but I feel that doesn't fit my personality in the fullest way. My relationship with God and my faith in Jesus is all encompassing and touches every area of my life but there is so much more then just Bible study and theology. I have a life, and God has given me that life to live and grow and learn and experience. I want this blog to reflect my LIFE; my goals, my loves, my friends, my family, my church, my God, my experiences. I want this blog to be a place where I can freely express myself, my thoughts and share my life and what is going on and what I am experiencing.

There is so much more to me then my brain and incite and knowledge and I use to write about these things so people would think I was smart and on track and in the know. That is people pleasing, attention seeking behaviour. Yes, the blog entries that I wrote were pure and from my heart and I was excited to write about it, but then life moments would happen and I wanted to write about it but because it wasn't this big revelation I felt I couldn't. I miss writing...

So much life has happened and God has taught me so much, but because I felt this blog was only for one type of topic and got out of the habit of writing I didn't express myself in this way. I love to write! I love to express my thoughts into words and I have missed it. So I have decided that I need to write again and I am going to write about anything and everything going on in my life and I am not limiting myself to just things I learned in a time of personal devotion or revelation. I will most defiantly talk about God, about my faith, about my revelations and my incite on scripture, but I will also write about the everyday and my experiences. I also might write about a movie I saw or a book I read or some current event news I want to put my thoughts and input to; this blog will be my thoughts about everything, even about my cats!

Lets get to some updates dear readers! Over the past year or two since I wrote anything I moved to a different town, on my own in my own little apartment, and I have gotten engaged to my best friend, David! David and I are getting married August 15th of this year and I am so incredibly excited and humbled to be his wife. Moving out on my own again has given me so much experiences to see people in the eyes of Jesus and have amazing moments to be a light in the darkness in my adventures. I have had a desire to become more like the hands and feet of Jesus. I have also learned a new level of trust with God that exceeds my previous level with my finances and his gifts and prevision. My mind and heart are synced to Jesus and I am learning so much about His character and heart that I have this out pouring of actual actions and opportunities to act out these heart missions to love radically and serve people. Since getting engaged I have learned more about my selfishness, my weaknesses, my need for grace and mercy and my reliance on Jesus then ever before. The next step in my life of marriage is going to be exciting and I am incredibly happy and it's the only thing I have ever wanted in life, but it's also not all sunshine and roses, there are kinks in the system and becoming a team with my fiancé has been challenging and finding that balance of time with him and time for myself and time for God has been a struggle for me personally. I have neglected some aspects of my life as well since wedding planning and moving forward has consumed my time. I still read my bible and spend time with Jesus but it's more of a chore then it once was, it's something I put on the back burner and neglect more then I should. Jesus' voice is never far from my ears but sometimes I feel like He is a million miles away because I fail to reach out and touch his face when I have a moment (more then a moment...more like a week) of stress and fretting and trying to control something I can't. I have recently sat down and went over what in my life do I treasure and value and what in my life is just filler and obligation and when I was deciding what to keep and what to cut out a pang (what a fun word) in my heart told me to write again. "Amanda, you love to write, you love to express your incite and use your blog as an outlet of the expression...you need to write again". I heard this, I internalized it and decide I needed to write again, and write about everything and anything. I have changed, and what I write about needs to change, so dear reader I hope to not neglect this blog anymore and use it and express myself and my day to day life and challenges and revelations and blog about my experiences and challenges and moments.
I might not post something every day but then again I might, but once a week, no less then once a month (wedding planning and all) I will put something on here. I hope to make a habit of this again and look forward to doing so even if no one reads this except my #bffffflllllleeeee, my mom and future husband.

until next time
~a